At adoration the other night I feel God really wanted me to take stock of where I have been in the past few years and where he has me now. My focus has been mostly on the intellectual side of the faith -- proofs of doctrinal points and just simply learning more about the faith. As a result of that course, my blog has tended to contain some apologetics material and general linking with mild commentary on regular Catholic news. Recently, however, I am starting to gather that my role as a husband and father (especially with a fourth child on the way) cannot be adequately staffed, so to speak, without either multiple me's or a tremendous increase in the grace of God. Keeping this blog up seems almost useless at times like this ... However, I feel God wants me to keep blogging. After all, I am going to mess up and blog about it. It might as well be a "public trainwreck of benefit" for another dad with three young ones and a fourth on the way.

I still plan to continue with the same material that I have blogged on in the past. I am forever interested in conversion, patristics, apologetics and family issues. Don't be shocked if marriage and family issues rise to the forefront as my role continues to change. Be even less shocked if I start posting "Ah HA" posts about prayer. It may be super easy stuff for most of St. Blogs. I am the remedial version of St. Blogs so you get the Catholic 101 stuff and for now, prayer is taking a front seat in my spiritual walk.

So what is it with me and prayer?

Its hard to admit this even to myself, but quite simply my prayer life needs work. God is asking me to get serious and organize a little bit better in this area of my life. Adding weekly adoration has worked wonders for me and it is the reason I feel prayer is at the forefront of where God wants me to start going. I cannot continue to slack on such an important avenue of grace in my life. Its kind of cheap to expect a relationship with God to occur without taking advantage of the "ask" feature. The fact is, I need the grace. We all do. I can see a great need coming. I would be a fool to ignore it. The answer, as always, has been turn to Him. I know that in my brain and I know that from experience.

Here I am Lord.

Since I also read a lot, my current reading will be long term and will cover the following material:

Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis De Sales.
The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola
Interior Castle by St. Theresa of Avila
Imitation of Christ by St. Thomas A Kempis
The Holy Rule of St. Benedict

My goal is to learn prayer and devotion from those who did it well.