Below is a cut and paste fest of some things that I have written in recent weeks about attitudes towards sex. It also gives a little background into how I have come to the conclusions I have come to. I may clean this up later and link to some references on the matter. For now, this is what you have ...

Read the letter in CCLI where a man has some choice words about NFP.

Now, re-read the letter above with the thought "sex is my god" and see how it comes across. I hate to sound like a jerk, but I am not sympathetic at all. If you are using NFP for 18 years then I think "openness to life" is not high on the priority list.

Lets face it, we live in a society where SEX is God and if it is infrequent or not present at all, that is hell. I think the average man needs to get in the mindset of asking himself if he would love and cherish his wife if one day she were to get into an accident and sex wasn't possible? Thats a tough one, yeah, but the answer should be so obvious ...

This is hard to say on my blog, but I have made it known elsewhere and for the purposes of this post it is relevant information. My wife and I recently abstained for 8 months after the birth of our daughter. I used it as an opportunity to express my love for my wife in different ways. I feel closer to her now than I ever have. The time period ENHANCED our relationship. It felt like we were dating again. I cannot express to you how much of a gift that time has been. I also used the time to learn better how to TAME my desires in a healthy way. I personally think getting the flesh under control in this manner is a difficult but good discipline to put yourself through. Besides, every sacrifice is an opportunity to allow Him to INCREASE. (John 3:30) It also gave me time to learn more about my faith. Most importantly, the time period in itself was an immeasurable indication to my wife just exactly how much I love her.

The purpose of marriage isn't rampant sex. Unfortunately we live in a world where that is the norm in a relationship. I have seen one too many truncated interpretations of Ephesians 5 resulting in men asserting their "biblical right" to indulge themselves at will, and with contraception that means without any consequence. If she is physcially capable then she is fair game. I then hear of women talking about their necessity to think about "doing it for the Queen". Total unitive and procreative love is damaged when the woman is submitting out of fear or indifference as opposed to surrendering herself out of love. Actual sacrificing love on the part of the husband, however, harbors a stronger desire to share in intimate moments in the context of true headship and submission. The corrupt version is a sexual attitude which COULD result in what Pope Paul VI referred to as men seeing their wives as a "mere instrument for the satisfaction of his own desires". (Humane Vitae 17) It can even happen in traditional Catholic marriages where men have no care for the physical and mental well-being of their wives. People focus to much on asking their wives to "suck it up" and "sacrifice" opposed to asking themselves to maintain a basic level of self-control for periods of time for the benefit of the wife. Ephesians 5 specifically indicates that men are to love their wifes as Christ loves the Church. Consider His sacrifice? To what level should we, as men, be prepared to give? The submission of a Christian wife in any matter is greatly compromised by husbands who demand submission without offering any amount of reasonable sacrifice themselves. Self control and sacrifice on the part of husbands is necessary. Without them, you are teetering on a dangerous edge of treating your wife no differently than the way men treat lap dancers in a strip club.

It is high time people kick sex off the pedestal they have it on and get some perspective. People who have tons of children have long periods of time where they cannot have sex spaced nice and evenly throughout their marriages. It is hard for them too ... and they have a bunch of kids running around to make it even more difficult to find time to get away and be intimate in any manner, much less sexually. Some couples struggle having children and they have sex frequently. I am guessing it is tempting to think those men have it great. All sex ... all the time. Ask those couples what they would give for the opportunity to have a child, which is a gift so many people squander away in order to pursue other things.

If the frequency of sex is a problem, open yourself to having a child. After all, that is far more in line with His purpose than your being sexually satisfied all the time.