Once again, another post from DCF
First off, a crush is a fixation on a non-reality. You are attracted to an ideal of this woman, not her. I had several long crushes on women where hindsight showed me that I BLATANTLY applied traits to a person that did not exist. Here is a perfect example from my own experience:
Hottie: Yeah, I went to church this past weekend.
What I heard: Yes, my life is deeply devoted to the Lord Jesus Christ. I go to mass every day and I spend at least 2 hours in prayer when I wake up. I used to sin, but I don’t now. I am a living saint.
Hottie: Yeah, I lived with a guy for 3 years who cheated on me.
What I thought: That jerk!!! He led this innocent girl astray.
Also, crushes oftentimes have an element of “impossible” to them. In my experience those are the WORST. This stems partially from our desire, as men, to save the damsel in distress. This is a good trait but this is a bad application of it. Anyway this woman is not impossible because she is out of your league, but because she is so different from you that you know your chances of making a lasting relationship work with her is virtually non-existent. I call this the "exotic factor". She is usually in legal or emotional trouble or of wildly different social, ethnic and/or relgious background. Usually a combination of most of these. What we have a tendency to do initially is ignore the glaring and obvious obstacles that will prevent a relationship with this person as she really is and reduce the object of our affections simply to a physically appealing woman with an unknown personality. We then become her knight in shining armor, even though there really isn't much that we really see worth saving other than a pretty face. Worse yet, often times she lacks interest in you which enhances the "impossible" factor. Guys are suckers for that type of girl. This is the perfect foundation for building the ideal person in your mind that you will never have because you don't REALLY know this girl. You take her positives and apply them in grandiose fashion and tailor her to your every whim. The negatives, you do not even see or you chalk up to hearsay. Part of what strengthens the crush is the knowledge that, deep down, you know it is not going to happen. Oddly, that fuels the yearning because the more unlikely the chance, the deeper in you want to get. This is male pride. A challenge!!!
Second, you have GOT to find out things like you mentioned in the previous post [which mentioned that she had flaws]. That minimizes the crush because you are starting to see the person as they are ... with flaws. Stop making excuses for the things they do that bother you. You see them, but you are often blind to them. Accept reality. If marriage looms around the corner (and one day it will) you will have to live with these things and it is MUCH better to deal with them now than later.
Third, as I am sure every married person has told you, one must understand that REAL love is different than that of a crush. Attraction must be there no doubt but real love is when you CHOOSE to love a person DESPITE their flaws. God can work with that and in my experience crushes fade, while love grows. I love my wife more today than I ever have and it beats any crush that I ever had.