OK, this is a big work in progress but I am posting the gist of it now anyway

On June 17, 2000 my wife and I were married in a small Episcopal Church. We did a lot of things pretty traditionally. Other standard American marriage traditions we didn't mind so much. One was the way we dealt with taking pictures. We did so before the ceremony. My wife showed up a few minutes after we did but a few hours before our early bird 9:30 am wedding. I still to this day can see her joyous smile peering from the back seat of her mothers car. Her smile was aimed only at me, as if I was the only thing in the world that existed. Another thing we decided to do was make it very clear that our marriage was focused on our relationship with Christ. He was going to be the center of our relationship. We took the opportunity to create a long program for our wedding knowing that many people would be coming from different backgrounds. The Catholics in our family would be familiar with the liturgical order of the service. The Protestants in our family would be familiar with some of the more contemporary Christian musical choices that we made. We also decided to print all of the scripture readings we selected and the responses that were expected from the attendees.

Our song choices were:
Classical tunes: "Clair de Lune" - Claude Debussy, "Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring" - J.S. Bach, "Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee" Ludwig von Beethoven, "Brother James Air" - Bain
Contemporary tunes: "Lord I Life Your Name on High", "You Are My All In All", and "Shout to the Lord"

Our Scripture readings were:
Song of Solomon 2:10-13; 8:6-7
Psalm 127
1 John 4:7-16
John 15:9-12

From that point on, time flew. Before I knew it I was standing face to face with her and all I could see was gold illuminating her face. This woman was soon to be my wife and God was making it very apparent to me that this was a special moment in my life. The grace abound was astounding -- so thick nearly that I felt I could physically see what was happening in a way I knew no other person in the room could see. My wife told me afterwards that she saw the same thing. We both knew that something extraordinary had happened that morning. It was more than a social contract appeasing our parents. It was blessed by God to be something special.

A few years later, our lives brought us to consideration of Catholicism. What was different between it and the Anglican communion of which the Episcopal church was a part? I found in the back of the Book of Common prayer some "historical documents" of which a declaration called the 39 Articles was included.

XXV. Of the Sacraments.
Sacraments ordained of Christ be not only badges or tokens of Christian men's profession, but rather they be certain sure witnesses, and effectual signs of grace, and God's good will towards us, by the which he doth work invisibly in us, and doth not only quicken, but also strengthen and confirm our Faith in him.

There are two Sacraments ordained of Christ our Lord in the Gospel, that is to say, Baptism, and the Supper of the Lord.

Those five commonly called Sacraments, that is to say, Confirmation, Penance, Orders, Matrimony, and Extreme Unction, are not to be counted for Sacraments of the Gospel, being such as have grown partly of the corrupt following of the Apostles, partly are states of life allowed in the Scriptures, but yet have not like nature of Sacraments with Baptism, and the Lord's Supper, for that they have not any visible sign or ceremony ordained of God.

This bothered me, partly from my experience at our wedding and further from my experience as a married man. I had already encountered more Catholic understandings of marriage through reading on birth control. I found it wholly repugnant to ignore that Christ's first miracle occurred at the wedding at Cana and further to ignore St. Paul's having compared it, in a very real way to the Church itself. The actual grace that comes from trying to be a faithful Christian husband to your wife is readily apparent to any and all who partake in marriage. How could the obvious fruits of marriage, including children be anything less than a sign of God's love and grace to all of us? The actual grace was undeniable. I have heard it said by some that the ordinary means of salvation for the majority is through the faithful service of ones spouse and the right upbringing of children in the faith. Of all the arrangements in my life, the most clear arrangement resulting in closeness with God is my marriage. To say it is not a sacrament was tantamount to insulting all that I held dear about marriage and to further relegate it to a mere social contract as if God had no intent in the right ordering of spouses towards sacrifice and sheer dependence on grace to even make it work. I decided to share my dismay with other Episcopalians. Upon this inquiry I found that whether or not we believed the contents of the "39 Articles" was really up to us. I could hold a sacramental belief about marriage. I further found this difference in belief also included our beliefs on the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist which we found differed in the church from actual belief in the Catholic doctrine all the way to those who believed it no more than bread and wine.

To me this was even more bothersome. The Eucharist either IS or it IS NOT Christ. Marriage either IS or it IS NOT a sacrament. Those are pretty fundamental things to disagree on and here I was going to church with every manner of person believing as they wish. The relativistic aspect I was encountering on matters of doctrine was giving me strong cause to reconsider my affiliation with the church I was going to. The lack of real support for young married couples was even more pressing at that time in our lives. Our church was simply lacking in young families. We desired Christian friends with young children even if only for fellowship reasons. This collection of reasons gave us what we needed to justify church shopping.

It was a difficult path though. We loved the people we went to church with. What about those relationships?