found a couple of posts I wrote on DCF that I wanted to keep

Who cares what works NOW. Nice guys finish in heaven.

Love is about pursuit. Pursue Jesus and if it is His will, she will come ...

Consider the following idea:
Dating -- particularly the worldly idea "serial monogamy" vs.
Until death .... sacramental marriage

One idea is being fed to you constantly through standard media outlets and the other is likely not being talked about at your church. Serial monogamy (highly encouraged by the dating mentality) undermines the idea of "until death". It creates a mindset of disposable relationships. I have been fortunate to have a few friends who have prepared for marriage recently discuss with me with their pre-marriage issues. Its like a broken record. Both had cold feet. I had it as well. In every case it reeked of direct attack from Satan on a marriage that is likely to result in increasingly holy spouses and large numbers of children raised in the faith. It is the systematic undermining of "until death" by the idea that "well, there has to be someone better out there" ...

Men like to be logical. We think "There are 3 BILLION women in the world. Statistically speaking the perfect one must exist ... right?" The conclusion is that I must date as many women as possible to be able to discern the right one. Stop thinking in terms of better, more beautiful. You will hear the following phrases from many women -- "this guy is dating material" vs. "that guy is marriage material" ... Guess which one you want to be? The guy with no dating experience who is "marriage material".

IMHO, you should be preparing yourself to be a husband and not worrying about who she is. The rare woman, (read Proverbs 31 for a description) marries with her eternal destination in mind. She seeks the man whose headship she does not fear. She is looking for a man who will accelerate her path to holiness by his support and His strength. That type of woman is an asset to your journey towards Christ. I am not saying marry someone who is going to be a source of suffering. The one who is dissing you because you are nice is likely to bring plenty of that. I am saying marry someone who assists in fixating your every fiber towards Christ. She is rare and she might be right under your nose but you are not going to notice her Christ-like qualities in a dating mentality. Take some time away from that rat race and bury your face in total submission at the foot of the Cross ... All good relationships begin there.

Prepare for your role. God will know when you are ready. Let Him provide the final piece. The hard work isn't finding the right one. The hard work is being ready if and when the right one comes.